Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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