I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
