At least make sure they are 18
Why
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
