um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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