No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
