Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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