we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
