If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize