So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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