I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
id be glad to
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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