My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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