I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
