he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You are a genius and a whore.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
