I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize