Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
