is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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