How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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