i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
