remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Duck Duck Cougar?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
