Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This beer is not sobering me up at all
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
