she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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