what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
