Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Are my feet made of real feet?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
