I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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