now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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