I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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