He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i wish my penis had a tongue
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you win again, gameday.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
