just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
