Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
