It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
