stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
