I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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