I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
