But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
