i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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