Plan B is the new Plan A
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
