All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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