so that wasnt chicken after all
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize