I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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