i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize