I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
