Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
