You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We have started to decorate penises.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
