Jerry, you need to find god
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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