dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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