I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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