So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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