There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
North Korea, Best Korea!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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