At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
