Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
