What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
