I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
