Sry I called you an 8
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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