he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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