Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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