She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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