You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize