cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
