I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
