did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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